It's a fine line

Ever thought that?...it's a fine line? It often feels like I battle with myself the most, I mean the thoughts in my head...the voices if you will...if I'm not careful, they run me...I read this morning in Exodus 7:3 "And I will harden Pharaoh's heart"...over the years I've heard it said so many times..."that's not fair, God hardened Pharoah's heart, then judged him for it, that's not fair!" God will let you set your course...and if I am insistent, God will "firm-up" my decision...say if the course I've chosen is a "hard one" (a course against Him)...It's a tragic thing when God firms up our decisions...Oftentimes He'll strengthen you in that course that you have set. This He did with Pharaoh. Pharaoh hardened his heart against God. God strengthened his position. "All right, you want to harden your heart against Me? All right, I'll strengthen your position, in order that I might magnify My power throughout the whole earth." But Pharaoh had that free choice to begin with. He exercised that choice in hardening his heart against God, and then God firmed up his decision.           I've pondered this throughout my life, I used to wonder "why" my Dad did the things he did? My Dad "checked-out" of life...life got too hard for my Dad...he medicated...he chose alcohol...did he listen too much to the voices? For quite some time now, I've longed to be able to talk with my Dad, ask him these questions..."did the voices in your head drive you?" I fear they did! "It's a fine line"...what must I do? "what must I do to be saved?" Acts 16:30 "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved" Acts 16:31 You mean, that's all? That's all. Believing in Jesus Christ. The power to save me comes from Jesus, even the power to stop listening to these voices?...when doubts and fears, grip me...Jesus can save me? Jesus promises these things, He promised me tribulation...He offers me peace..."These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 I won’t find real peace anywhere else other than in Jesus...A person can follow Jesus, yet deny themselves that peace...so true...when I allow "the voices" to rule me, to drive me...I deny truth, I deny peace. I am in one of those times right now, seems I have been for quite some time...my world screams of doubts, of tribulation...living week-to-week on pay checks, not having steady employment...jobs are not plentifull...no "skills" to fall back on, I truly have nothing to offer...I often say, "I have nowhere else to go"... I feel like I've exhausted all my efforts, all my schemes, all my plots, have come up empty...I feel God has hemmed me in...He is my only Hope...and yet my attitude is poor..."He surely has grown weary of me, why should God bail me out yet again?"     "It's a fine line"       "Dear God, I am weak, I need You to "firm-up" my decision to follow You"