Unwilling, or unable?

I grew up in the late 60's and 70's...one of my earliest memories, as a family...we'd get all excited "The 10 Commandments" are on tonite! I don't know, maybe it was like a 4-5 hour movie! Charleton Heston as Moses...remember? Wow..."what a "Mighty Man for God he was, but sadly, Charleton did me wrong...for later on as an adult, when God put it in me...to read His Word, Moses was not Charleton Heston! Hence, Exodus 4:13 But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." This has been a real hard pill for me to swallow...I remember years ago, sitting in an Adult Sunday school class, first finding the "truth" out, Moses was not Charleton Heston! This can't be, I would blurt out...no way! God was not angry when Moses asked, "Who am I?" (Exodus 3:11). He was not angry when Moses asked, "Who should I say sent me?" (Exodus 3:13). He was not angry when Moses disbelieved God's Word and said, "suppose they will not believe me or listen to my voice" (Exodus 4:1). He was not even angry when Moses falsely claimed that he was not and had never been eloquent (Exodus 4:10) - but God was angry when Moses was just plain unwilling. Hmmmm, is that me? So many times I do the same thing to God! Just like "M", there may be a hundred understandable reasons why Moses was unwilling, some of them making a lot of sense. Perhaps Moses really wanted to serve, but was unwilling because of past rejection. Nevertheless, the bottom line is that Moses was unwilling, not unable. Unwilling..."It's common for men to give pretended reasons instead of one real one." (Benjamin Franklin) Are my fears real...or imagined? How do I fight this? How do I get past this driving fear? How do I break the chain, the pattern I've long since developed in my life? It is never "God is so mighty we can't do anything," but it is always "God is so mighty, He can work through us if we make ourselves available."   "O Lord, keep me! Keep me in the palm of Your Mighty Hand...regardless of my circumstance...regardless of how badly my body 'hurts'. of my feelings of "I just can't do this another day Lord", keep me close to You...Thank You for Hope...the Hope that, in the twinkling of an eye...You can change my course!" "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord?